


when mom gets a new s.o.

by EllaYuki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (more or less), Canon Compliant, Crack, Dialogue-Only, Multi, Post-Season/Series 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 08:32:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11271804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaYuki/pseuds/EllaYuki
Summary: based on a hilarious conversation i had about how mary and lucifer might hook up in between the season finale and next season and dean’s (and sam's) reaction to such an event.





	when mom gets a new s.o.

'mom, i'm happy you're back and you're safe, i'm freakin' _thrilled_. but _really?_ hooking up with lucifer? really? after everything he's done to us? he _killed cas_ , mom!'

'yes, well, that didn't stick any more than it did last time i did, dean-o, so what's your point?'

'you shut your mouth, asshat, i'm pretty sure you did something to make her do that, there's no way she consented just like that.'

'actually, dean...'

'mooom...'

'dean, you're not exactly one to talk about hooking up with people in different planes of existence.'

'that was different, cas!'

'wait, wait, what? what's he talking about, dean?'

'nothing, sammy.'

'i'm talking about purgatory. we _were_ there for a year, you know...'

'oh my god!'

'shut up, don't you _dare_ bring that up when i spent most of that year trying to find you because you were being a _self-sacrificing idiot.'_

'but, dean...'

'but nothing! and besides! what might or might not have happened in purgatory has nothing to do with _mom hooking up with freakin' lucifer_ of all people, okay? that's not the point here.'

'while i agree-'

'no, nope, don't wanna hear it sammy. honestly, and i cannot believe i'm seriously asking this but, am i the only here who did not, in one way or another, have fucking lucifer inside him?'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'... _well...'_

'oh _hell no!_ '

'well, to be honest, i didn't exactly enjoy your _'cas, cas oh cas'_ either, dean, but hey, you don't hear me complaining.'

'no. nope. fuck this shit. i'm out.'

'dean!'

'no!'

'dean, wait!'

'...'

'did you really have to make fun of him like that?'

'of course? there's something particularly entertaining about getting under dean winchester's skin.'

'he's going to kill you when you least expect it.'

'he can try.'

'but seriously now... really, mom?'

'sam...'

'sammy, you had an affair with an actual demon once upon a long time ago, i don't think you're really the one to lecture your mother.'

'you shut up, no one cares what you have to say.'

'you wound me.'

'i'd very much like to _kill_ you.'

'good luck with that.'

'...'

‘you do know that they will actually get lucky and kill you one day, right?’

‘mary, mary, it’s going to be fun to watch them try.’


End file.
